(Warning, there is going to be a picture of my most recent x-ray at the bottom of the post. So if it makes you squeamish, don:t scroll too far.)
Shoganai is like the Japanese version of “so it goes” with slightly less depressing connotations. Shoganai basically means, “it can’t be helped.” I did not expect this to be the phrase I heard the most during my recovery and rehabilitation, but it is.
“I know it took us eight tries to place the IV last time, but you need a new one and shoganai.”
“I need to take the staples out now. It’s going to sting a bit, but shoganai.”
“You need to practice putting more weight on your bad foot. It’s going to hurt, but shoganai.”
“You’ll have to take taxis to and from work everyday. Shoganai.”
It seems like whoever is writing the script of my life is getting kind of lazy with the dialogue. Whatever the reason, shoganai is an ever-present phrase and idea in my life at the moment. Sometimes it can be kind of comforting. My ankle hurts when I practice putting weight on it, but the doctor told me to expect that, so shoganai. I’ll just have to push through it.
Hobbling around on the crutches (I’m trying very hard not to call them my crutches in hopes that that will be a reminder to myself that the sooner I can get rid of them the better) has gotten easier with every passing day. I’m still faster swinging with one leg than I am walking with both, but now that I have graduated from tripod to quadpod my good leg has been taking less abuse. Even after a day of classes, it’s less tired now than it was even last week.
Today marks the first day I felt comfortable enough to try getting around my apartment with only one crutch. Since the doctor told me yesterday that I can get rid of the crutches as soon as I feel comfortable, I feel safer knowing that I won’t risk impeding the healing process by pushing myself a bit more.
Current updated goals:
- Walk with one crutch all the time (not just at home) by the end of June
- Short walks without the crutch by the second week of July.
- Return the crutches by mid-July
- Practice biking around the neighborhood and see if I feel comfortable.
- Walk to school by the third week of July.
- Walk all the time without the brace by mid-August.
I’m hoping to go to physical therapy three times a week to speed up my recovery. If nothing else, the therapeutic massage should help more than just my at-home bath and stretching routine. I’m not sure when I will be back to normal, or be able to start running again, but shoganai. I’ll be ready when I’m ready and rushing things will only hurt me in the long run.
If anyone is interested, here is the latest x-ray of my ankle. You can`t even see the break, so that seems to be a really good sign.